I Pledge Allegiance to the Flag

Am I a bad American if I don't give a rats ass about the upcoming presidential race. In fact, I try my hardest to change the channel or avoid the conversation at all costs. But unfortunately I can't escape. It seems everyday that Hillary Clinton is calling me or Rudy is asking my opinion on the hot issues. Don't get me wrong, I care about what happens to this country, I care about the things that are going to affect my children. I want the best health care plans available, I want "No Child Left Behind" to walk out the door when George Bush does. I just don't want to hear about it all the time. I don't want to analyze it, I don't want to give my opinions, I don't care about other peoples'. Recently I was sent an email quiz. Upon completion of this quiz I would be given a score and that score would tell me which presidential candidate I am most compatible with. To me, this was the best way to figure out who I should vote for. I will vote, I will do my civic duty, however I am not sure how "civic" it is since I am typically voting based on some bogus fluke. In fact at the last presidential election, as I drove to the polling center, I told myself that the last sign I saw was who I would vote for. I would think that most of the candidates would rather not have my vote if it is going to come that way, but unfortunately they don't care other than to get votes in any possible horrible annoying never-ending way. Well the more I type the more pissed off I am getting because now I am wasting blog space discussing it. As I type this blog entry I have already heard 5 commercials for candidates...think of all the trashy tv I could have watched instead. God Bless America.....

Wanted: Husband with Clue (even a little one)

Apparently this will be my bitchaboutmyhusband.blogspot
Seriously (when you are reading this please use the Meredith from Grey's Anatomy tone)
Where can I buy a freakin clue? Because I am going to wrap it up in bright red paper and stick it under the Christmas tree with my husband's name on it in HUGE letters. But even then I don't think he would get it. I don't think even if Jolly 'Ol St Nick himself came to our doorstep and handed him a brand spankin new clue he would comprehend. Again seriously. What do their mothers teach them. I have a son, I hate to think of the day he gets married and his wife looks at him and then looks at the pile of dirty laundry at his feet and he stares back at her with a blank expression and wonders to himself "What do you think she is trying to say to me? I don't understand." Do you think I am being Punked? Do you think someone out there is watching my soap opera of a daily life. Do you think they TiVo me and watch my life while they sit and snack on popcorn and giggle at the hilarity of it all? You know you have thought it before...hmmmmmmm

Mother May I ?

Why is it that no matter what age you are and what relationship you have with your mother......she can ALWAYS find the right buttons to push to just PISS you off like no other!
Take for instance my mother (just for the story's sake...) Picture a nice family meal with my parents, my husband, and my 2 kids. I have set rules for supper time that my children eat what they have been given, blah blah blah. Fast forward to my daughter not eating her hamburger and Grandma bribing her with Cheetohs! Simple enough, yes, but it makes me want to jump across the table and shove down every piece of disgusting supper I had to eat when I was little and couldn't leave the table until I gagged down every single freakin crumb. When does that whole philosophy of motherhood change! And Where does she get off thinking she can just change my rules and do whatever the sam hell she wants to do? Seriously...aaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Ok now that I have that off my chest...Mom could you babysit tomorrow please! hee hee

When do they grow up?

Why is it that some men can never grow up? I just don't understand why the noose around their ring finger doesn't trigger some chemical in their brain to start acting like an adult. Add on top of that the pitter patter of little feet....shouldn't there be some sort of vacinne they can give adult men that are married with children that gives them back the brain cells they lost during college from drinking too much and smoking pot. These brain cells had to have been the ones that would tell a "normal" adult male "I should probably stop drinking for awhile, I am slurring my words and can't give eye contact." If they could only somehow get the ones back that are needed to stop the drunk ass from thinking that at 2:00 in the morning it is a good idea to start the oven and make a pizza but then pass out and let it burn to a charred mess. Somehow I think that particular brain cell would come in handy, even if just once. I would guess that these particular brain cells were pissed away at some random bar in their twenties and never to return again. Gone is the common sense rationale of knowing that when I stand up and can't walk without hitting a wall that something is wrong. Only to have been replaced by some white trash brain cell telling the idiot in charge it would be a good idea to have a round of tequila shots. There has to be some female brain specialist out there that has a secret way of developing new brain cells...ones that trigger pain when a male does something idiotic. Or cells that make them turn into a women for a day after a long weekend bender with the boys. That would stop 'em wouldn't it? One day of having their period with full blown cramps and they wouldn't touch another beer. Somehow I doubt that the idiot brain cells in my husbands head would even notice. Stupid stupid stupid.........

Feel the Rain on your skin....

I love that song and was just listening to it on the way back to work from lunch.

I love music and especially love listening to music loud. I would think it would be time for me to grow out of that phase. In fact I am almost to the phase where I am going to be yelling at my kids to "Turn that Rock and Roll crap down!" Maybe I will be the mom that yells - "Hey I love that song turn it up!" One can only dream right!

One my favorite "me" times is to be driving by myself with a fist full of burned CDs of music that I can turn up and sing my heart out to. I have also been known to throw in some dancing moves along with. You know you have seen those people driving along....jammin' to their music...oblivious of their surroundings! I have grown to dispise driving in the car with my husband for more than the 3 minutes it takes to get to Kmart. He doesn't like my music, doesn't like it loud, doesn't like when I sing....and REALLY doesn't like it when I dance. For sure he is going to the "that dad".

check that....

Ok, so I was a little harsh yesterday on my blanket statement that I hate whenever ANYONE talks in their childs voice. I should clarify that it is only a select few that I converse with on a frequent basis at work. The cause of my desire to poke the closest thing to me stems mostly from the fact that this person constantly talks about her child as if it is the only thing to walk this great earth and therefore should manipulate every conversation. I caught myself last night using my daughters voice and realized I was a little too harsh. I do it on occasion as do most people I know. I will clarify...
my biggest pet peave (currently - they do happen to change based on the hormones raging through my body and how they react to outside people's habits) is when someone obsessively speaks in their child's voice. And by obsessive I mean they speak of their child almost every time their mouth opens. Any story can be turned around to somehow deal with their child and therefore lends itself to talking in their voice.
If I knew a word to describe this I would use it right now...but all I can think of at this point is EXASPERATING....

Starting off on the wrong foot

I thought I would start off my new blog right off the bat complaining about my BIGGEST pet peave. I have recently realized this revalation about myself. I cannot stand when people talk about their kids using their kids voices. If you do this, I apologize if I offended you and hope to god you are never talking to me when I have drank too much wine because I will more than likely tell you exactly how I feel about it. But honestly, what really seems to grate the last nerve I have left is the typical conversation that goes something like this...

"How is (insert child name here)?"

"She is good, yesterday she did the funniest thing, she was asking me for a cookie and she said- (mimic child's voice) 'mama can you pees git me a cooooookeee"

You get the picture. We all know someone like this. I have known several in fact, but just recently did it come to the point where I can't stand it. I avoid conversing with this person at all costs and if I happen to overhear a story, my blood starts to boil and I feel like I need to poke something really hard.

Well I hate for this to come across as a bad first impression here. So stick around and read more. I have alot worse things to say than this!